Survivor, "Game Changers"

Survivor, "Game Changers" ended last Wednesday evening. We were on the road but I recorded the episode and we watched Saturday night after returning from Florida. Sarah Lacina won. She was the most effective liar, back-stabber and "strategic player." She'd been on the show before and conducted herself with honor while playing. She lost.

Background here:

http://glidersruminations.blogspot.co.id/2014/05/the-lessons-of-survivor-cagayan-and-why.html

Going home after that show, Sarah, having lost to the morality-free fellow police officer, Tony, decided to throw her integrity out the window for 39 days. She said she used her professional contact with thieves, prostitutes and addicts to better understand how to "go under cover" and become somebody she despised (i.e.: Tony, from Survivor, Cagayan) to "win." Once she swore never to talk to Tony again. She'd bonded with him and then got back-stabbed. Morally unacceptable, right? Then apparently she had an epiphany. But not from Saul to Paul. Just the opposite, from Paul to Saul. Bad is the new Good. But only for money on TV, right? Only a game. Say it again, ONLY A GAME. Worth a million dollars, cash, of course. Fame and Fortune. Certainly worth selling your integrity for, right? At least that's what she learned from playing Survivor. Let's hope it's only something people learn from playing Survivor, not watching it.

The good thing for Sarah was she still had something to sell. One thing this season of former players knew was who was genuine and who was creepy dishonest. They knew not to trust Tony. He established that he would lie on his mother's grave for money. That's good, of course, and should be rewarded, as Survivor has taught us, but only when it's done al fresco. We wants our lies told fresh from the garden. So he was voted out early, this season. Boring. His soul selling act was rotten stale. His ability to lie with a straight face, laudable but a re-run. It won him the respect of his fellow players, once. Now it's funny. Juries on Survivor, apparently love budding soul sellers. Somebody who comes on board with integrity but then throws down, sells out and convinces others they can be trusted and then, pow, screw you buddy. The Sole Survivor, is not a Soul Survivor, it seems. It's the opposite. Somebody with established integrity, like a police officer who is willing to be morally compromised for money and fame. This is a good thing. A Survivor jury previously rewarded his two-faced, lying persona with a million dollars. It seems Tony already sold his soul and well, you can't do it twice. At least not on Survivor. But they also knew Sara was genuine. Until she wasn't. Now they know she isn't. For that they rewarded her 50 pieces of Survivor-Silver (million bananas). Now, she's a winner! Huzzah...

I get it. The folks who compete on Survivor can't all be ex-professional athletes like Brad Culpepper. He won more actual Survivor competitions and kept his integrity intact. Easy (relatively) for him, they reason. They were trying to cut his throat every vote but he kept winning challenges. He was obviously a better survivor, but he wasn't a Survivor survivor. You can't keep your soul intact. No way. The only way to counteract such physical prowess is with guile and politics (being a sneaky liar). And oh yeah, Brad's a bully. Hard to know who to pull for. The liar or the bully? I guess selling your integrity wins out. It seems more about whose willing to give up the most to win. Brad ground it out physically but who cares? The bulk of the jury clearly identified with the sneak over the bully. After watching, I took a shower. And like a damaged moth, I can't wait for the flame, that is Survivor, to be re-lit in a few months.

Why whoever is elected President should be your President / Followed by a poem by Robert Frost

This is a diverse country. Our outlooks and philosophies are mostly defined by our family roots, our environments and our personal experiences. Different shouldn't be equated with wrong, at least not by definition. It’s only a varying definition caused by dissimilar experiences.

Where, how and to whom you were born. How you were treated. What you managed to learn.

This equals diversity. That entails differences. Some of those differences can be dramatic. We are comfortable with what we are familiar. We fear what we don’t know or understand. We envy the comfortable when we’re not comfortable ourselves. When comfortable we fear someone taking it from us. Nobody likes to be afraid. Fear often germinates into distrust and dislike. Who likes being different when you’re singled out? Fear then leads to strong dislike or hatred. It can get emotional. You can learn how to hate from your own people. You can be taught to hate by those who seem to hate you. Ignorance of others often breeds hatred born of distrust.

Knowledge, on the other hand can illuminate. Experience and education teaches you to equivocate your position. Equivocation precedes understanding. Understanding precedes empathy. If you can’t walk a mile in the other man/woman’s moccasins, you must try to imagine it. Try to understand it. Why? Why not just close your mind and believe your opinion is the only opinion and that you are intrinsically right and those that disagree are plain wrong? That those of another kind or community must hate us and so we must hate them?

The answer is quite simple. Knowledge is power. Empathy is liberating. To begin to understand, know and ultimately trust people who are different from you, makes you bigger, stronger, smarter and more powerful. To hate others on sight and to close your mind makes you smaller, weaker, dumber and forever limited.

So why can’t we just learn to get along? One reason is it doesn’t profit all policy makers, news generators, opinion wonks, career politicians (not all but some) and media mavens if we all get along. Playing one side against the other can be profitable. Conflict is exciting. Peace is boring. Besides, everyone loves a circus.

We see and read every day about how bad the world is. We are taught fear by our exposure to “news.” Candidates for both sides are shown at their worst, not their best.

The recent election cycle revealed that our country is split down the middle by rural and urban, highly educated and hard working, those that want to accelerate change and those who want to honor tradition.

It’s my contention that the country course corrects every eight years or so. We steer left, then we steer right. It keeps the vehicle in the middle of the road, which seems to not please anybody but tends to give everybody a few years to feel comfortable.

Can we go with that flow? Steer left, then right and wobble in and out of the middle? Nobody keeps power forever? We turn the reigns over to one side for a while and the other takes them back every so often? I say, “why not?”

Newspapers must sell to survive. When you see the election results you might think that the New York Times and the Washington Post swayed the electorate to vote very heavily for Hillary. But the paper survives by feeding back to the locals what they already believe. Otherwise nobody would buy it. Fox news caters to conservatives. That’s why they turn it on. The networks appeal to heavily populated regions. That density appeals to advertisers.

Politicians must draw distinctions, not heal fractions. The first job of a career politician is to be elected. The second, and thereafter, cyclical job is to be re-elected. If not, they are not career politicians, by definition. I would tell you that the Clinton’s machine’s first priority upon election would be to reward their supporters, consolidate their power base, begin the process of collecting donations from those who weren’t sure she would win and preparing for 2020. We'll soon see if Trump wants to be a career politician or really do something to renew our country's industrial base. That's one good reason to give him some latitude. Has he said stupid things? Yes. Did I vote for him? No. Will I be skeptical? Yes. Do I hope he moderates and is successful at creating a better US economy. You bet. Is that universal? Not close.

My take on the “I’m right and you’re wrong and I’m not going to listen to you, ever.” school of thought is now germinating with “we know who you are and what you’re going to do.” The WORST thing (for the opposition) that can happen is for Trump to moderate his rhetoric, work toward actually doing something positive for the country and being a mildly successful national administrator.

This isn’t unique with this election. The first time Barry O. got elected, it was the same “He’s not my President.” He’s not even a natural born citizen. Yeah, Trump said that too. So why give him the benefit of the doubt when he didn’t give it to the last administration? The short answer is, it helps everybody.

I don’t expect equivocation from the Hollywood Elite, the New York Times, The Washington Post, etc. etc., to hope that our country will succeed no matter who is in charge. There is a vested interest in seeing those you disagree with fail.

I voted for Hillary Clinton and would again. I am also going to work my tail off to make this country as successful as it can be. I will remain positive about what we can accomplish together the next four years. I don’t hope Trump goes radical and harms people even though that would profit Democrats. He is in a unique position to question and work toward making our country more economically successful. I read progressives say that the Democratic party will now reconstitute to begin to listen to workers who lost jobs and careers because of policies that have been promulgated by the Clinton administration which benefits the world economy but left our people forever under-employed. So be it. Good. There’s another election in four years. Get off the streets whining and begin to work toward better understanding why Trump got elected.

So what’s my point? Easy. Empathize with and learn not to fear the other side. Work toward making this country work. Stop hating those that disagree with you and with whom you disagree. Move the right to the left and the left to the right. Moderate your beliefs a bit. Breathe. Listen. Meditate. Calm your fears. The profit from that will accrue to the holder and to our country.

Here’s a poem by Robert Frost, from whom I learned the power of equivocation:

On the Heart's Beginning to Cloud the Mind

Something I saw or thought I saw
In the desert at midnight in Utah,
Looking out of my lower berth
At moonlit sky and moonlit earth.
The sky had here and there a star;
The earth had a single light afar,
A flickering, human pathetic light,
That was maintained against the night,
It seemed to me, by the people there,
With a Godforsaken brute despair.
It would flutter and fall in half an hour
Like the last petal off a flower.
But my heart was beginning to cloud my mind.
I knew a tale of a better kind.
That far light flickers because of trees.
The people can burn it as long as they please;
And when their interests in it end,
They can leave it to someone else to tend.
Come back that way a summer hence,
I should find it no more no less intense.
I pass, but scarcely pass no doubt,
When one will say, "Let's put it out."
The other without demur agrees.
They can keep it burning as long as they please;
They can put it out whenever they please.
One looks out last from the darkened room
At the shiny desert with spots of gloom
That might be people and are but cedar,
Have no purpose, have no leader,
Have never made the first move to assemble,
And so are nothing to make her tremble.
She can think of places that are not thus
Without indulging a "Not for us!"
Life is not so sinister-grave.
Matter of fact has made them brave.
He is husband, she is wife.
She fears him not, they fear not life.
They know where another light has been,
And more than one, to theirs akin,
But earlier out for bed tonight,
So lost on me in my surface flight.

This I saw when waking late,
Going by at a railroad rate,
Looking through wreaths of engine smoke
Far into the lives of other folk.

--Robert Frost

Hail Caesar & Full speed ahead

Hail Caesar and full speed ahead

I am a contrarian. Maybe by design. I entered school early and was smaller and more immature throughout school. I also got sick as a kid and missed a lot of school. Never being the football hero and marching with the band will make you cynical. Anyway I saw the news a couple nights ago and they showed Obama’s final correspondent’s dinner and a couple jokes he told and at the end he dropped the mike, put two fingers to his lips and said “Obama out.” Didn’t get it. Then I read he was kinda’ lampooning Kobe Bryant’s last game where he did the same thing but with Mamba out. Get it? Mamba out, Obama out? In that context it was cool. Without the context it was strange. I’m going to miss Barry. He’s a cool guy. Smart. Educated. Cool under fire. He’s done a representative job. I didn’t vote for him because I guess I’m older and white and identify with people like John McCain. Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate President Obama and I do. Are we better off after eight years? Some are. Government sponsors health care for a lot more Americans. That’s good for those Americans. Everybody else? We’ll see. I made an allusion that I didn’t vote for Obama because I’m white but that’s not really the case. I know Obama’s a hybrid. Raised by his mother and grandparents. Wrote the Harvard law review. The black guy in him makes him special. I kinda like that. But being white gives me privilege, right? I can’t empathize with minorities because I’m flawed by race. The white/black thing is weird though. I pulled for the Lakers throughout the 60s when the Celtics were dominant because I got tired of Red Auerbach’s white guys and cigar lighting. The black guys on the Lakers were the underdogs and I liked that. Black guys seem more relaxed, have better physical skills, play the blues better, and so on. All generalizations are false, of course but we all do it, you can’t help it. You generalize. I don’t think I dislike anybody based on race. If it’s true, I’m a clueless individual but I don’t think so because hey, I am a contrarian. Who is more the underdog than people who are working to overcome being a racial minority? I also have a bit of a problem with black people hating white people because of race, isn’t "racist." It’s justified. But I give Obama credit. He’s pretty logical. Besides, he’s a hybrid.

So where’s this going? Obama’s moving on to the speaking circuit, writing his memoirs and biography, building his Presidential library in Chicago and playing about the same amount of golf, eh? That leaves the office open for either Hillary or Donald. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Trump is a bit of a bigot, a narcissist (most politicians are), an over-privileged braggart, a misogynist, a truth stretcher (most politicians are), with no track record as a statesman. He is not and would not be my first choice for President. He is probably more than a little dangerous. But he is one of two who has qualified to be a major candidate for President and he has been woefully underestimated so far.

The other candidate:

Ms. Clinton. Hillary reminds me of a reptile. She probably sheds skin. Her tongue is lizard like and can say amazingly smooth, calculated and rehearsed things. She is mistake free. Just ask her. Like a chameleon she can change color when adaptation benefits her. She seems asexual, reproducing through parthenogenesis, but then a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. Like a reptile she is cold. Stays married to a serial cheater but then he is now her eunuch, why not use him? A rather cold and calculated plan but it fits. Has a plan for everything and can change it to suit the latest poll. Is indebted to big banks, big pharma, unions, lawyers and anybody with a big check book. She knows how the game is played. She and Bill have been playing it for forty years. Power. Money. Revenge. Say anything, do anything to grasp the big goal. She dropped the feminist Hillary Rodham stuff to appeal to a broader audience but can change it back if it has a benefit. It’s not about principle, its about advantage. She set up her own personal server as Secretary of State for her convenience and control. Advantage Hillary. It was almost immediately compromised. No, no it wasn’t. Right? Just ask her. She doesn’t make mistakes. She is used to political power and privilege and her struggles to be locally relevant during her campaign are hilarious. What will she bring to office? A political agenda that will similar to Obama’s. How exciting. Eight more years of apologizing and making things more “correct.”

So how has the political status quo worked for the average American the past eight years? The country’s middle class is worse off. The rich and powerful are more rich and more powerful. We manufacture and export next to nothing any more. Steel? No. We import nearly everything. We are a service economy. An intellectual property country. Blue collar workers are out of work. Kids get degrees and work at Starbucks. We are nation on the decline. Most believe it is inevitable. Go with the flow. Free trade our way to oblivion and enjoy how productive our entertainment industry is. Can’t blame Democrats for this. This is bi-partisan. Besides, we deserve it. What we get for all our past transgressions.

Everybody agrees it’s a global economy now. We have to adapt. Lower our expectations. Export jobs, export manufacturing, This generation and the next will have to adapt to the new reality. They can have jobs, but they will struggle to pay their bills for decades. Debt will grow to be unsustainable but hey, that’s okay and I’m not talking about federal debt, I’m talking about individual debt the middle class is taking on. That’s what leadership agrees. Both the left and the right don’t want to get in the way of global progress. We take on debt. We protect the rest of the world. We export jobs, manufacturing, industry and leave behind french fry pushers.

Again, where I am going?

Perhaps with bad analogy but it comes from deep inside. Andrew Jackson, who they are taking off the 20, turned the white house over to common people for a while. Teddy Roosevelt, who posed with bears and sent gunboats around the world and Ronald Reagan, who was too dumb to know what he couldn’t accomplish. And yeah, that other serial cheater and other misogynist, JFK when he dealt with Khrushchev and threatened nuclear midnight over missiles to Cuba. These guys had vision and they were doers. Not planners. Not politicians. Egg breakers. Omelet makers. Once in a while we need a leader who can’t see the reasons why we can’t. Doesn’t understand all the nuances, isn’t interest in the “other side of the coin.” When Reagan stood at the Berlin wall and said, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” He should have known it was provocative and threatening and we don’t control what other countries do. We don’t have the power to dictate global policy. We are but one country with a sordid past of slavery, civil war, illegal expansion into the west, native American disgrace, unfair labor practices, unequal pay, monopolies, homeless people, drug addiction and the shame of Vietnam. Right Hillary? Let’s focus on our shame and do better politically. Meanwhile the average American needs to lower their expectations and realize what we’re doing is only right for Mexico, China, Central America, Japan and so on. Obama’s done a good job of making us look better to Europe. Less cowboy. More chess player. Excellent. Keep it up.

Except it isn’t selling well locally. People want to see their leaders pushing the edge of the envelope for them, not Mexico, not China, not Japan. They want to hear somebody say, “Let’s manufacture here.” Let’s grow our economy and lower our debt. Renegotiate debt percentages. Let’s stop apologizing and start being proud again. Simplistic? Maybe. Timely. We’ll soon see. I don’t like Trump. He’s an ass. And let’s be honest. Arkansas is a red state. How I vote will essentially be meaningless. There will be a handful of blue states that went for Obama that will need to flip if Trump, the asshole, can have four years to reverse some of the conservative/liberal/progressive political posturing and ideology which has gotten us where we are. Trump is an asshole but he is not a conservative or progressive ideologue, he is a bullheaded businessman who wants to do something about regressive taxation, unsustainable debt, insurance industry collusion, big pharma advantage to the detriment of the middle class, and loss of jobs, manufacturing and our essential industrial base. Our country is moving in the wrong direction and our “leaders” are frankly, clueless about it. They work hardest at one thing. Getting re-elected. It’s what they work on from the minute they’re elected to the next time the polls open. Raising money for ads and political war chests. The people who give them money want favoritism and patronage. Trump’s already rich. He already has a plane to ride around in. Living in the White House won’t be much of an upgrade. He doesn’t need to cow-tow to anybody. Both parties both fear and hate him. The press hate him. There will be more character assassination in the next six months than ever before. But like Jackson, Roosevelt and Reagan, the average Joe considers Trump something more than just a politician. Because well, he obviously isn’t a politician. He doesn’t act like a politician. He doesn’t speak like a politician. He says what he thinks. That’s so rare it’s scary. They think he is an iconoclast because he is. An egg breaker. The turd in the punch bowl. If nothing else, it’s at least not “more of the same.”

Will I vote for him? Hard to say. Like I said, won’t matter one way or another. Arkansas is red and will stay red no matter what I do. But let’s make it theoretical.  Hillary is the safe bet. Short term, of course. Because long term, enough of her type of pol who work for their party and their contributors and work hard at more and more legislation that benefits their constituency to the detriment to our overall economy and the decline of our country is assured. The Romans liked their bread and circuses. Trump has the big shoes and the big top. Clown-like but hey, it’s going to be interesting… Hail Caesar and full speed ahead. I for one can’t wait for the next circus performance, it’s even better than the bread.

Forgiveness has no expiration date. It just keeps on giving.

Every long journey begins with the first step. Personal journeys begin with forgiveness.

Why is forgiveness so important? Because it focuses the mind on the future, letting the past go.

Close your eyes. Look inward. Help is there.

Be practical. First and foremost, forgiveness calms and helps the forgiver.

Close your eyes and stop focusing on exterior issues.

Ask important questions.

Who is causing all the problems I live with daily? All. My. Problems.

Here are a few examples:

Others, obviously. My parents. My teachers. My so-called friends. The people who are wrong about everything, who don’t understand me. Foreigners. Red necks. Liberals. Republicans. Muslims. Selfish people. Rich people. Immigrants. Illegals. My boss. My spouse. My brother or sister. My boyfriend/girlfriend. Haters. Shooters. Pushers. Old people. Young people. Homeless beggars. Thieves. Politicians. The President. Congress. The guy who cut me off in traffic this morning. The Supreme Court. Society. Humanity. Booze. Drugs.

Frankly, the list can be exhausting.

But here’s the thing: Exterior forces and people surely can be causing you problems.

Yes. They are. They will be.

How does that help your future?

It doesn’t.

Others may well be causing you problems

But

Others will not be able to solve these problems.

What? How fair is that?

Well, who’s going to help me then? Where do I go for help? I mean if all these people and things are giving me grief, where do I go for satisfaction?

We must take the proverbial first step.

Stop focusing on the exterior world for a moment.

Close your eyes and breathe; journeys begin from within.

Let the pain and the anger go, eaten away by forgiveness.

Stop blaming everybody else for your problems, even if it’s true, because it just doesn’t help.

Work towards understanding pain by stop blaming it on exterior forces and start thinking about the path to follow to move away from it.

What has to happen to make you happier and more satisfied?

You are in charge of your own happiness. Nobody else. You.

Why forgive others if nobody’s going to be able to help?

Because you must acknowledge the main issue:
 
You and only you can create a road to your own personal satisfaction and to begin the journey you must let go of the past.

If you are waiting for somebody else to fix your pain for you, I’ll bet you’re pretty dissatisfied at the results so far. They can anesthetize it (your bartender). They can drown it out (your rock band). They can stimulate you enough to forget it temporarily (your lover). Later you blame them because it doesn’t last. The problem is until you can focus your mind on your own personal solution, long term satisfaction is ephemeral.

That’s not to say you have to do all the work yourself. Far from it.

Read. Listen. Become educated. Work a program. Listen to mentors. Adopt a philosophy or religion. Go about it however you wish. Listen. Adopt. Adapt. Emulate. Work. Lather, rinse, repeat. You won’t know what works until you fail a couple times. But you decide and you agree: I am in charge of my own happiness and personal satisfaction. The moment I stop blaming everybody else for what bugs me, the sooner I can be happy if I can forgive myself along the way for temporary failures.

Now, once you forgive, it doesn’t mean you forget. If you need to move on from a bad relationship, leave an abusive spouse, stop working a job that harms society, or find a more positive living environment, that simply pulls the thorn from your paw. At that point you can stop blaming the thorn for what’s been going on and begin to understand what drove you to misalign yourself. Why or how did I get into this thorny situation? Chalk it up to experience and yes, forgive yourself. Learn from it. Then move on.

That’s important too. Acknowledgement that you are a flawed human being. “I did some questionable things around some questionable people but I’ve moved on, forgiven myself and yes, others too. Now it’s time establish a positive attitude, living situation, friends and loved ones.” It’s never too late to learn from the past and move toward the future. Forgiveness has no expiration date. It just keeps on giving.

Every long journey begins with the first step. Begin your journey with forgiveness. For yourself. For others. Then and only then can you work toward a lifetime of personal achievement and satisfaction.

Give me the middle, that's where both the head and the heart reside.

Read most of the newspaper this morning, including the op ed page. Much of this week's front section's news centers around the horrific shooting at the Emanuel African Methodist Church in Charleston. This lone act of violence now dominates our national and local news cycles and serves to polarize (further polarize?) out nation's leaders and pundits. Hopefully reasonable people can approach regrettable events, such as this one, with hope and understanding that our nation is not defined by the acts of lunatics who so lack a basic moral compass that they kill without conscience. This isn't a statement. It's the opposite. It's a vacuum. A very painful vacuum lacking ideas or ideals. This lunatic has nothing to give, nothing to say, nothing to share. He is nothing. But his actions, which cause pain and grief, trigger opinions. Opinions and actions which now try to retroactively un-cause it from happening. What went wrong? What should be done? Whose to blame? Thus the news cycle's maw opens for its weekly feeding.

This is not the first lone wolf, nihilistic mass killing in recent years. Sandy Hook's elementary school shooting, while sui generis, is compared and contrasted to the Charleston shooting. Each is its own horror and those of us on the sidelines have no way of understanding the pain family members and friends are going through. I am a bit embarrassed to be writing at all since I really don't have the right to comment at all unless or until I suffer something like this myself. That said, I seek only to rebut the nonsense that seems to permeate comment after these events. All generalizations are false and each of these perpetrators tends to have a unique disconnect which allows them to open the door to destruction, both personal and general. Some are obviously mentally bent, some morally bankrupt and others motivated by political and religious misinterpretations. It seems last week's shooter was nothing more than a moron with a gun. It is true he seems to have been motivated by a hatred for black people and considered himself a white supremacist but realistically he drooled in his photos. Mass murder is not now nor will it ever be laudable for anybody for any reason. Those who execute it are terminally confused and well, stupid. Perhaps I am embarrassed to be from the South (when related to this idiot) and deny this moron's motivations because they are so anathema to any enlightened human's value system. I can't see anybody actually taking anything this guy believed seriously but there it is. The horrible loss of life focuses us on the perpetration of evil. We must react.

So I concede the point. There will have to be a reaction. The most vocal reactions come from the right and from the left. These are most newsworthy. Let's step off with the left foot first. Is this is a hate crime? Is this an act of terror? The President responds by wanting more law(s). He bemoans his lack of power to restrict gun ownership. The kind of very restrictive laws they have in Chicago that work so well to prevent gun violence, right? How's that working? Laws are only as good as the will of the people to follow them. The prohibition of murder by law isn't stopping murder, is it? The prohibition of illegal drugs by law isn't stopping it, is it? But beyond the fact that the country is chock a block with literally millions of guns already and the only effective way of controlling them is to give the government rights to control citizens beyond common sense, is the history of our country. We are a country founded by revolutionaries who took up arms against an unjust government, which was run by a despot who didn't care about the rights of citizens. Our citizens, to this day, still don't absolutely trust government to not act in just the best interest's of government. Read a little about Huey Long some time if you think this country is far removed from despotism. Individuals want protection. Sometimes from intruders. Sometimes from a government run amok. Is it likely in our enlightened society? No. But anything isn't until it is. Or it is until it isn't. Paranoia is a side effect of basic distrust of what government is capable of. It fuels nuts and there are quite a few of them. Should crazy paranoid people wield weapons? Probably not. Would we be better off if such people didn't have easy access to plentiful dangerous weapons? Yes. So that's the President's point right? Give me the power the restrict gun ownership. But the reality is such laws are unlikely in this country and when they are passed in communities, they work about as well as passing laws against using drugs. People find a way if they aren't law abiding citizens and they feel the need. Their need will be met. Besides, the fool could have taken lessons with a Japanese Katana and done the deed more quietly and with even more gruesome results.

I read the op-ed page about the right's response being something about we should arm everybody and those in church could have defended themselves and the guy wasn't a racist, he was attacking our religious freedoms, or something. Bizarro stuff. If anything, worse than the left's approach, which is at least seeking some semblance of a solution. The real "beauty" of guns is they preponderantly kill their owners and the owner's families, friends and acquaintances. The chance that a gun will actually be used to defend somebody from an attack is incredibly small. Guns kill their owners and owner's family members by suicide, accident, and rage. Every week in the United States a gun is discharged by a child to kill another child in play, a loading accident kills a family member, a father kills himself (including my own), a drunken husband kills his wife or vice versa because they are upset. Neighbors kill neighbors. People have fist fights in bars and somebody goes gets a gun to escalate the violence and kills somebody. Hunting accidents kill by mistake. Road rage fueled gun owners kill strangers who drive aggressively. Guns provide instant power to kill and let's face it, they whack more thumbs than nails. To own a gun is to be instantly less safe from violence.

But...

Illegal drugs are bad. Most uses of people-shooter guns (pistols, assault rifles, etc.) other than practice and shooting for thrills and kicks, turns out bad for the owner and their family. But they ain't going away any time soon.

The bottom line is, in America, with our culture and our history, we want to keep our guns and we don't trust government enough to give them up. Bigger government with more control is not today's solution for this problem. Period.

But...

The fool who murdered those people in church WAS a racist. He was an idiot racist. However his small mind was polluted by the internet or other racists can be studied and maybe we'll learn something, but I doubt it. I'd like a simple solution to people who lack understanding or who have a broken brain, but I'm afraid we will mourn this act and soon others after it. We are a country of 319 million pretty decent people who go about their daily business without recourse to senseless killing. While horrific, this act was an aberration of the norm, not indicative of it.

But I do have an opinion (and two elbows):

I inhabit the middle. In the middle we tolerate responsible gun ownership and we prosecute illegal uses of weapons, not ownership of weapons. We blame the idiot user, not the gun. And again, owning a gun likely will end in tragedy for the owner and his family. But people still buy guns.

In the middle we understand the motivation behind progressives who want to restrict gun ownership and in time, with reason, some of that is likely to occur. Gradually and with compromise. We believe that there are actually racists in the world and their actions are offensive and when they occur we will speak out and when necessary get up and march for individual rights and freedoms guaranteed by the constitution. For all citizens.

What happened last week was the lone act of an idiot. There is little or nothing that can be done in a free society to track, restrict or prevent idiocy. 

But where there is cause, there can be effect.

I am from the South. I studied in a school in the 1950s in rural North Louisiana with a text book that subscribed to the idea that the Klan and the Knights of the White Camellia were heroes during reconstruction. Today I believe southern pride is taken as knee-jerk racism. I can't help if it is or it isn't, that's how its perceived. That the rebel battle flag is about as benign as painting on black face and putting on a minstrel show.

I am in the middle and I think to honor the dead in an historic African American church, the dead who were murdered by a racist idiot, the rebel battle flag needs to be retired from the statehouse in Columbia, South Carolina. To honor those individual lives lost. To honor those black South Carolineans who suffered prior to the war between the states and those who have suffered since, up to and including this act of stupidity. To show this idiot that no, blacks aren't taking over our country, they are joining it as equal citizens and while we respect our forefathers and their contribution to the south, that INCLUDES our black brothers and sisters who suffered before, during after the war and continue to this day to suffer from those who perceive them as different or inferior. It would only be symbolic but it would be a very minor achievement and honor for those fallen dead at the hands of a racist idiot.

That's from the middle, where the heart and the head reside.

Who or what is in control of your life?

Who or what is in control of your life? You? God of Jehovah? Jesus? Allah? People? Chaos? Fear? Love? The Law? The Bible? The Koran? Situational ethics? The theory of relativity? Politicians? Judges/ Juries? Mom & Dad? Secular Humanism? Twitter?

I’ll posit something. I’ve said it before. After satisfying needs for water, food, shelter, procreation, security, health, love, praise and More (I’ll defer to Samuel Gompers here), people want control. Absent control they want comfort, recreation and entertainment. Most have an easier time obtaining recreation and entertainment and abandon most attempts for control. Using alcohol and drugs obviates the desire for control. Rationalization soothes lack of control. Lower your expectations. Monks will tell you feed the spirit and seek enlightenment. You don’t need to, or can't control the physical world. Concentrate on the metaphysical. Meditate. Grow your spirit. I like it. Which of course let’s the Chinese take over, more actively seeking physical control.

But let’s take a look at “desidero, decideras, deciderat:” 

[what I want, what you want and what we want] based on a spiritual person’s persona (qi (chi), weltanschuung)

Positive control = Balance = harmony (give and take)

non desidero, …as, …at:

Negative control = Unbalanced = disharmony (take and take)

Example of non balanced leading to balanced leading to non balanced:

Places of employment, struggle for control:

Company establishes a business. Following market forces and sound economic principles, it expands. Hires more workers. Grows, hires more workers, the cycle continues. The workers achieve water, food and shelter, which can be purchased with wages, which (failing spending it all on drugs, gambling, etc) lead to temporary satisfaction. Later they get health insurance, vacation, retirement, holidays, etc. Once these necessities are satisfied we finally get to “control” and who has it. First we get various concerns. Some workers are retained, even promoted. Others are furloughed, discharged even. Where are the rules? Why is all this happening? Rumors are Debbie and the boss really like each other and Debbie got a raise. The boss fired Dave because he didn’t like him. Eventually they feel powerless and frustrated. They compare their work situations with others. They realize they could have it better. They organize, form a union and periodically negotiate. We want more. Pay. Benefits. And we want to reduce management’s control so there’s no subjectivity any more.

Unions want printed rules. A book of them. A rule for everything. A remedy for infractions. Wages spelled out. Seniority rewarded. The tacit goal is to remove management’s prerogatives. Once the contract refers to the book of rules, there is no need for management, other than to challenge when rote adherence to written rules produces unsatisfactory results, which it often does. All generalisations are false sooner or later. All rules lead to unsatisfactory results, for everybody and then the union, which requested the book of rules, gets to intercede now as the arbiter of rules. Failing to follow the rules by management also makes the union challenge management. Second guessers always have the benefit of hindsight. Removing management’s prerogative removes management’s intelligence. Somewhere between no rules and all subjective management to nothing but rules with no intelligence there is balance and harmony. I have worked in and experienced both situations. Too much management subjectivity reduces everybody’s morale, including the supervisors who have to carry out discriminatory practices based on emotions, preconceptions and poor judgment. Everybody gets mad, makes mistakes has errors of judgment. That’s when a union can step in to remedy management’s errors. The sweet spot here is some intelligence based on knowledge, experience, and common sense and a basic set of written rules and guidelines. The balance requires supervisors of workers who have experienced both being a worker and a supervisor. Too little management intelligence (a rule for everything with no need for knowledge, experience or common sense) leads to retention of sub mediocre employees and promotion based on longevity. Long term valued employees make one stupid mistake and are terminated and replaced with new hires. Products and services suffer. When the balance is way out of control, companies go under. The needs of the employees are all met save that of a work place to go to. An unbalanced situation over a long term will eventually lead to a sudden crash. Something that is until it isn’t.

Example of struggle for power based on democratic freedom:

Gradually our country has undergone a dramatic political shift away from long held ideals and morality based on religion and tradition. A lot of it is healthy. Fifty to a hundred years ago it was Judeo/Christian God and country (mostly Christian). The Bible, Mom, the flag and apple pie. To question those ideals was both anti-American and immoral. Ethics and morality were paramount in leaders, both political and social. Or was it? As society got more and more open and information became more and more readily available, hypocrisy was identified as a byproduct of strict morality. These rules, while “just,” became inconvenient. Kids turned on to drugs and burned the flag, refusing to serve if they felt the situation wasn’t right. President Kennedy was a good father and husband when he wasn’t cheating with Marilyn Monroe or Judith Exner. President Clinton didn’t have sex with that woman, depending on how you defined sex or “is” or perhaps woman. Situational ethics overcame religious and moral imperatives. You didn’t need to serve your country or forgive your leaders as much as shrug your shoulders. A thing “is” until it isn’t any more. Three years ago our President, Barack Obama opposed same sex marriage. Today he doesn’t. Something is until it isn’t. Some of this is obviously healthy. What was whispered in the shadows is now more open and above board. Religion or lack of it isn’t the deciding factor for a job, an appointment or an association, outside of church. Or at least that’s the general idea. Merit counts. The color of your skin, the sex of your employee, their origin, nationality or religious preference shouldn’t decide associations, employment or appointments. Persons with disabilities struggled for equality for decades. Most would agree they’ve achieved a higher level of recognition and equality, at least under the law. Now (2015) sexual preference and orientation has the nation’s attention with the President leading the way with his recent flip-flop. Men should marry men and woman should marry women, if they choose to. Nothing’s wrong with it, right? Uh, anymore. Shrug your shoulders. A thing is a thing until it isn’t a thing. Then it’s something else. In relative terms that is.

Will this movement toward situational ethics and intelligent tolerance of (fill in the blank): murder (euthanasia), lying (Clinton and just about everybody else), divorce (a majority of the time), children born out of wedlock (a majority of the time), false gods (wealth, power, lust), and pleasures of the flesh over power of the spirit eventually lead to an out of balance situation? Are there no absolutes? Do we need no spiritual guidance? No religion? No commandments? But of course many gay people are religious, Republican (as an example of relativism, at least a few) and believe in the power of the spirit over lust. Not all power and wealth is used in a self-serving manner (see Bill and Melinda Gates). And many prelates are coke sniffing hypocrites and priests pedophiles. So? Does’t this mean everything is relative? There are no absolutes? What do we use as guidance?

Can secular humanism replace the ten commandments? It can if it’s codified? Society through politics = law. Then you get to choose whether you obey the law or not? Doesn’t the minority have a voice?

Let’s pass a law that prevents people from discriminating against gay people. Since society can’t recognize religion, as there are too many of them, laws will trump scripture, or perceived scripture. Don’t want to sell them a cake because you don’t like gay marriage? Too bad. Pay a fine. Face a lawsuit. Let’s codify morality. We know what’s right, right? Let’s have a book of rules that show everybody how to live. We don’t or can’t need a Bible or a Koran (separate religion). We have society’s rules which, of course, are subject to variance and interpretation depending on who is in power at the time. That’s situational of course. But follow your society’s laws, or don’t, depending on the situation?

Final posit:    Democracy is and always has been situational and subject to interpretation. If you want to avoid immoral or unethical behavior, you will be confused by statutory fiat. My old friend Sam Lang, who spent a lifetime serving the law gave me some free advice: Do what you think is right. Obey the law. It is after all, the law. But in the final analysis, do what you think is right. When right and legal are mutually exclusive, do what’s right. I have never received better advice from anyone. The harder question is: what can you always believe in, no matter what?

Who or what is in control of your life?

Twenty-Five Homilies from Sixty-Seven years

1. Success is about getting up every day and doing your best.

Not being the best, being perfect, being ideal, being better-than, just:

Do the best you can with what you have where you are. (thanks Teddy R.)

The world is run by people who show up.
(thanks Ben F.) 

2. Work hard to forgive yourself and then forgive others, not for their sake, for yours.

3. Think about what you can do to make everybody else's life better.

4, Focus your life's work by empathizing with those to whom you deliver that work (your customer, guest, client, user, etc.) then continue to narrow and refine that focus.

5. If you wonder what your life's work is, concentrate on today. What you're doing now is for all intents and purposes your life's work. Do it to the best of your ability.

6. Listen as often and as much as you can and always before speaking.

7. If you can't voice a greeting, wave. If you can't wave, smile.

8. When you hear something interesting, take note, it'll soon be your idea.

9. Write down what you intend to accomplish each day and check off what gets done.

10. Review your accomplishments and give yourself credit.

11. Talk about what's possible with others because for an idea to flourish, it needs to be spoken.

12. Avoid negative people.

13. Seek consensus before acting.

14. Give credit to others wherever and whenever possible.

15. Everyone seeks positive reinforcement, give it.

16. Everyone seeks creative control, cede some of yours when you can.

17. Slow down long enough to acquire presence of mind in thought and action, especially before acting.

18. Be emotionally positive towards all, fight negative impulses.

19. Consume in moderation.

20. Love openly and with vigor.

21. Equivocate (your enemies have a point, you need to work toward seeing it)

22. Take time each day to walk, run, bike, roll, dance and move about (be as dynamic as your body allows).

23. Avoid stimulants, sugar, caffeine, chocolate, bright lights, computers, iphones, & social media prior to your normal sleep time (weaning off at least two hours prior, caffeine, 4-5 hours) so you can have normal sleep cycles and stay quiet, in the dark for 8 hours a night. Shift workers, adapt accordingly.

24. Find time to breathe deeply and relax hourly, even more than being dynamic, but you need both.

25. Laughter is the best medicine. Always be on the lookout for something that tickles you.