Thursday, March 6, 2014

I Hope You Ain't Gonna be a Hardcase / Lay that twinkie down, oh lord, lay that twinkie down

Message from a friend: 
Was it Dracula that said

"Take a bite out of Crime" ?  (Not that dog)

Just a thought .


Anyway, don't let the evil Mr Cold weather pull you into the vortex of succulent desserts and pastry goodies where the "Fat monster" waits to pull  you into the abyss.

Keep going on. Don't give up ---To the Temptations--(  not the 50's singers) Keep heading to the skinny you inside. 
Ok, so I'm  losing my mind thinking about the endless pies and chocolate goodies waiting for me --on the dark side of the force. The gravy and rice and giant 36 oz steaks and fried foods.
I need to go eat an apple or chew on a carrot.
Hi my name is Joe. I am an addict.
As a food a holic---one who is addicted to food.--- I am waging a daily war against Food.
I love food so it is a love/ hate relationship. It is a Battle of the Bulge.
And so it goes one battle at a time,one mouth full at a time.
Can't turn back,can't give up or give in to the --Dark Side or dark chocolate
I must not surrender to those taste buds that continue to crave :
the "evil" carbohydrates or to the soft still voice that cry's out in the night---- Eat me! 
No one knows what evil lurks in the shadows of the frozen food section, what boogie men are waiting in the aisle where chips and dip live. I have to be brave and stand fast against the threat of the Triple X. Ho Ho Ho --sure the guy in the red suite can laugh, but he can wear that ex-large outfit everyday and no one cares.  Smile and the world smiles with you. or so people say. Become over weight and the world says---- look at the fat guy. You're just another Wall Mart person for the picture photo line up.
I must defeat the "raisin head" people (those are the ones with little bitty heads and gigantic bodies that pray on the "apple bodies" (like me)  to try to clone them into raisin heads.
I will use the "glimmer" index to shine in the nite and avoid the monster "Sugar" waiting to devour me.

Joe.
Just a soldier in the battle.

Reasoned Reply:

My one comment would be that you still view sh*tty food as desirable. If only I could have those (really good?) foods, I'd be happy. I think we need an attitude adjustment. (or a night in the box). You didn't like Cool Hand Luke, I remember. I'll include the Floorwalker Carr's recitation of Captain's rules at the end, just for fun.
Anyway.

I picked up a few pounds the past few months (I guess I said that in my last email and maybe you're addressing the issue here). My old internist, Ed Gaber, who was a colon cancer survivor and who had used a few years in the Air Force to help him become an MD, wasn't a "good" doctor. He was a great doctor. Had to go into private practice to have enough time to actually listen to and work with his patients. Cut out newspaper articles and pasted them on the wall all around his consult offices. While you waited for him to come in you were inundated with health information. He was great but he wasn't good because he'd get tired of treating people who wouldn't work on their own wellness. He had issues with cigarettes (they result in a linear decline in quality of life as you begin to age - you are sicker and able to do less and able to enjoy life less each year you age (he had a chart on the wall showing the decline in smoker's abilities as they aged, compared to non-smokers) - and of course they kill you - but it was the decline in quality of life that had him pissed off) and things like sugar, which triggers your brain to want more as soon as you consume it, then triggers insulin, screws up your blood sugar and then causes you to feel tired all the time (until you get more sugar) and of course, makes you fat, which destroys your health .


We went on a cruise last year and you can order what you want from the menu at dinner - plus of course they have a sweet bar open all the time - and I ate conservatively and then got low or no sugar dessert (I did get dessert). But by the last night I figured I'd splurge and went ahead and got the double chocolate whatever it was and it pretty much made me sick. Consciously working on avoiding sh*tty food may sound like you are denying yourself pleasure but it will make you feel a lot better. NOT eating food which is bad for you makes you feel better? Of course not. Denial of pleasure makes you feel worse, right? It's after you eat this crap that you feel worse. Smoking the cigarette relieves the urgency but it is quickly followed by ill health.

I talked to the kid that works at the veterinary clinic this week when I got one of the dogs vaccinated. He wants to stop smoking but can't. I told him I finally worked it out in my head that I DIDN'T LIKE SMOKING and that to stop it meant I was soon to be filled with pleasurable experiences. The physical addiction goes away in a week. Then your life is just so much better. The same is true of eating junk. Once you make the mental leap that you don't like what's harmful to you and makes you feel bad, it's a lot easier to quit eating it. It's not hard to stop doing what you don't like.

Making a conscious decision to feel better and be better is simply a salesman's job. Sell yourself on it. Believe it and then make the best of it. The no sugar desserts were small and tasty. Seriously. They left me un-bloated and didn't raise my pulse and my cholesterol like sugar does. So I wasn't DENYING myself anything, I was making a conscious choice to feel better and still eat pretty good tasting food. After eating I felt pretty good.
You're making it sound like greasy, white flour, high sugar, starchy stuff is desirable, when, in fact, it gives you indigestion, bloating and you have to lie down after eating. Think about it. It's not really good, it's bad.


The stores are chock full of decent stuff now. I buy little containers of pre sliced apples with nuts. they make them for kid's lunches. I eat fruit, even though it's high in natural sugar because it's actually good for you as one component of a decent diet. Fish is good. I love squash. Cauliflower. Cook it and grind it up and eat it instead of mash potatoes. and so on. Do I eat pizza? Yeah. I get the smaller ones with thin crust. Do I eat chocolate. Yes. I have a square now and again. I get these puddings that at no sugar. Jello makes them. They have a blue stripe or something and say no sugar. I eat crappy food now and again but I shop for decent stuff and I avoid beer and dessert. I avoid beer because my daughter's an alcoholic and it's like shaving my head for a cancer patient whose getting chemo. I guess it makes me feel noble. You know what? I used to love beer but now I don't give a sh*t. Food isn't all bad. You can eat food but you have to use your brain to save your body so you can use your body to keep your brain alive. I admit having a doctor like Gaber, who was a bit of a kook, really helped me. Having cancer had helped him, I think. It was a wake up call.
 
Look at sh*tty food and trigger the response: Wow, Yuck. Do I want to feel bad? Do I want to have a hard time getting around? Increase my insulin? Blow out my knees? Because as soon as you start to eat decent food, you immediately start to feel better. And it tastes good. It really does. Less is more. It always has been.

Along the lines of "I learned everything I need to know in kindergarten" (here substituting "chain gang" for kindergarten, here's:

 [credit]

Cool Hand Luke (1967) movie script

by Donn Pearce and Frank Pierson.
Based on the novel by Donn Pearce.

[excerpt]

Floorwalker Carr’s speech, for all newcomers


“Them clothes has got laundry numbers
    on 'em.You remember your number and
    always wear the ones that has your number.
 Any man forgets his number
    spends a night in the box.

(passes out spoons)
   
This yere spoon you keep with you
    and any man loses his spoon spends a
    night in the box.


There is no playing
    grabass or fighting in the building.
    You got a grudge against another man
    you can fight him Saturday afternoon.
    Any man playing grabass or fighting
    in the building spends a night in
    the box.


First bell is at five minutes
    of eight when you will get in your
    bunk and last bell is at eight...
    Any man not in his bunk at eight
    will spend a night in the box.


There
    is no smoking in prone position in
    bed. To smoke you must have both
    legs over the side of your bunk.
    Anyone caught smoking in prone
    position will spend a night in the
    box.


You get two sheets. Every
    Saturday you put the clean sheet on
    the top, the top sheet on the bottom
    and the bottom sheet you turn in to
    the Laundry Boy. Any man who turns
    in the wrong sheet spends a night in
    the box.


No one will sit on the bunks
    with dirty pants on. Any man sitting
    on a bunk with dirty pants will spend
    a night in the box.


Any man who don't
    bring back his empty pop bottles
    spends a night in the box.

Any man loudtalking spends a night
    in the box.


You got questions you
    come to me.
    I'm Carr, the floorwalker. I'm
    responsible for order in here and
    any man that don't keep order...
    ...spends a night in the box.
       
(to Cool Hand Luke, sincerely)

    I hope you ain't gonna be a hardcase.