Saturday, July 25, 2015

Forgiveness has no expiration date. It just keeps on giving.

Every long journey begins with the first step. Personal journeys begin with forgiveness.

Why is forgiveness so important? Because it focuses the mind on the future, letting the past go.

Close your eyes. Look inward. Help is there.

Be practical. First and foremost, forgiveness calms and helps the forgiver.

Close your eyes and stop focusing on exterior issues.

Ask important questions.

Who is causing all the problems I live with daily? All. My. Problems.

Here are a few examples:

Others, obviously. My parents. My teachers. My so-called friends. The people who are wrong about everything, who don’t understand me. Foreigners. Red necks. Liberals. Republicans. Muslims. Selfish people. Rich people. Immigrants. Illegals. My boss. My spouse. My brother or sister. My boyfriend/girlfriend. Haters. Shooters. Pushers. Old people. Young people. Homeless beggars. Thieves. Politicians. The President. Congress. The guy who cut me off in traffic this morning. The Supreme Court. Society. Humanity. Booze. Drugs.


Frankly, the list can be exhausting.

But here’s the thing: Exterior forces and people surely can be causing you problems.

Yes. They are. They will be.

How does that help your future?

It doesn’t.

Others may well be causing you problems

But

Others will not be able to solve these problems.

What? How fair is that?

Well, who’s going to help me then? Where do I go for help? I mean if all these people and things are giving me grief, where do I go for satisfaction?

We must take the proverbial first step.

Stop focusing on the exterior world for a moment.


Close your eyes and breathe; journeys begin from within.

Let the pain and the anger go, eaten away by forgiveness.

Stop blaming everybody else for your problems, even if it’s true, because it just doesn’t help.

Work towards understanding pain by stop blaming it on exterior forces and start thinking about the path to follow to move away from it.

What has to happen to make you happier and more satisfied?

You are in charge of your own happiness. Nobody else. You.

Why forgive others if nobody’s going to be able to help?

Because you must acknowledge the main issue:
 

You and only you can create a road to your own personal satisfaction and to begin the journey you must let go of the past.

If you are waiting for somebody else to fix your pain for you, I’ll bet you’re pretty dissatisfied at the results so far. They can anesthetize it (your bartender). They can drown it out (your rock band). They can stimulate you enough to forget it temporarily (your lover). Later you blame them because it doesn’t last. The problem is until you can focus your mind on your own personal solution, long term satisfaction is ephemeral.

That’s not to say you have to do all the work yourself. Far from it.

Read. Listen. Become educated. Work a program. Listen to mentors. Adopt a philosophy or religion. Go about it however you wish. Listen. Adopt. Adapt. Emulate. Work. Lather, rinse, repeat. You won’t know what works until you fail a couple times. But you decide and you agree: I am in charge of my own happiness and personal satisfaction. The moment I stop blaming everybody else for what bugs me, the sooner I can be happy if I can forgive myself along the way for temporary failures.

Now, once you forgive, it doesn’t mean you forget. If you need to move on from a bad relationship, leave an abusive spouse, stop working a job that harms society, or find a more positive living environment, that simply pulls the thorn from your paw. At that point you can stop blaming the thorn for what’s been going on and begin to understand what drove you to misalign yourself. Why or how did I get into this thorny situation? Chalk it up to experience and yes, forgive yourself. Learn from it. Then move on.

That’s important too. Acknowledgement that you are a flawed human being. “I did some questionable things around some questionable people but I’ve moved on, forgiven myself and yes, others too. Now it’s time establish a positive attitude, living situation, friends and loved ones.” It’s never too late to learn from the past and move toward the future. Forgiveness has no expiration date. It just keeps on giving.

Every long journey begins with the first step. Begin your journey with forgiveness. For yourself. For others. Then and only then can you work toward a lifetime of personal achievement and satisfaction.