Who or what is in control of your life?

Who or what is in control of your life? You? God of Jehovah? Jesus? Allah? People? Chaos? Fear? Love? The Law? The Bible? The Koran? Situational ethics? The theory of relativity? Politicians? Judges/ Juries? Mom & Dad? Secular Humanism? Twitter?

I’ll posit something. I’ve said it before. After satisfying needs for water, food, shelter, procreation, security, health, love, praise and More (I’ll defer to Samuel Gompers here), people want control. Absent control they want comfort, recreation and entertainment. Most have an easier time obtaining recreation and entertainment and abandon most attempts for control. Using alcohol and drugs obviates the desire for control. Rationalization soothes lack of control. Lower your expectations. Monks will tell you feed the spirit and seek enlightenment. You don’t need to, or can't control the physical world. Concentrate on the metaphysical. Meditate. Grow your spirit. I like it. Which of course let’s the Chinese take over, more actively seeking physical control.

But let’s take a look at “desidero, decideras, deciderat:” 

[what I want, what you want and what we want] based on a spiritual person’s persona (qi (chi), weltanschuung)

Positive control = Balance = harmony (give and take)

non desidero, …as, …at:

Negative control = Unbalanced = disharmony (take and take)

Example of non balanced leading to balanced leading to non balanced:

Places of employment, struggle for control:

Company establishes a business. Following market forces and sound economic principles, it expands. Hires more workers. Grows, hires more workers, the cycle continues. The workers achieve water, food and shelter, which can be purchased with wages, which (failing spending it all on drugs, gambling, etc) lead to temporary satisfaction. Later they get health insurance, vacation, retirement, holidays, etc. Once these necessities are satisfied we finally get to “control” and who has it. First we get various concerns. Some workers are retained, even promoted. Others are furloughed, discharged even. Where are the rules? Why is all this happening? Rumors are Debbie and the boss really like each other and Debbie got a raise. The boss fired Dave because he didn’t like him. Eventually they feel powerless and frustrated. They compare their work situations with others. They realize they could have it better. They organize, form a union and periodically negotiate. We want more. Pay. Benefits. And we want to reduce management’s control so there’s no subjectivity any more.

Unions want printed rules. A book of them. A rule for everything. A remedy for infractions. Wages spelled out. Seniority rewarded. The tacit goal is to remove management’s prerogatives. Once the contract refers to the book of rules, there is no need for management, other than to challenge when rote adherence to written rules produces unsatisfactory results, which it often does. All generalisations are false sooner or later. All rules lead to unsatisfactory results, for everybody and then the union, which requested the book of rules, gets to intercede now as the arbiter of rules. Failing to follow the rules by management also makes the union challenge management. Second guessers always have the benefit of hindsight. Removing management’s prerogative removes management’s intelligence. Somewhere between no rules and all subjective management to nothing but rules with no intelligence there is balance and harmony. I have worked in and experienced both situations. Too much management subjectivity reduces everybody’s morale, including the supervisors who have to carry out discriminatory practices based on emotions, preconceptions and poor judgment. Everybody gets mad, makes mistakes has errors of judgment. That’s when a union can step in to remedy management’s errors. The sweet spot here is some intelligence based on knowledge, experience, and common sense and a basic set of written rules and guidelines. The balance requires supervisors of workers who have experienced both being a worker and a supervisor. Too little management intelligence (a rule for everything with no need for knowledge, experience or common sense) leads to retention of sub mediocre employees and promotion based on longevity. Long term valued employees make one stupid mistake and are terminated and replaced with new hires. Products and services suffer. When the balance is way out of control, companies go under. The needs of the employees are all met save that of a work place to go to. An unbalanced situation over a long term will eventually lead to a sudden crash. Something that is until it isn’t.

Example of struggle for power based on democratic freedom:

Gradually our country has undergone a dramatic political shift away from long held ideals and morality based on religion and tradition. A lot of it is healthy. Fifty to a hundred years ago it was Judeo/Christian God and country (mostly Christian). The Bible, Mom, the flag and apple pie. To question those ideals was both anti-American and immoral. Ethics and morality were paramount in leaders, both political and social. Or was it? As society got more and more open and information became more and more readily available, hypocrisy was identified as a byproduct of strict morality. These rules, while “just,” became inconvenient. Kids turned on to drugs and burned the flag, refusing to serve if they felt the situation wasn’t right. President Kennedy was a good father and husband when he wasn’t cheating with Marilyn Monroe or Judith Exner. President Clinton didn’t have sex with that woman, depending on how you defined sex or “is” or perhaps woman. Situational ethics overcame religious and moral imperatives. You didn’t need to serve your country or forgive your leaders as much as shrug your shoulders. A thing “is” until it isn’t any more. Three years ago our President, Barack Obama opposed same sex marriage. Today he doesn’t. Something is until it isn’t. Some of this is obviously healthy. What was whispered in the shadows is now more open and above board. Religion or lack of it isn’t the deciding factor for a job, an appointment or an association, outside of church. Or at least that’s the general idea. Merit counts. The color of your skin, the sex of your employee, their origin, nationality or religious preference shouldn’t decide associations, employment or appointments. Persons with disabilities struggled for equality for decades. Most would agree they’ve achieved a higher level of recognition and equality, at least under the law. Now (2015) sexual preference and orientation has the nation’s attention with the President leading the way with his recent flip-flop. Men should marry men and woman should marry women, if they choose to. Nothing’s wrong with it, right? Uh, anymore. Shrug your shoulders. A thing is a thing until it isn’t a thing. Then it’s something else. In relative terms that is.

Will this movement toward situational ethics and intelligent tolerance of (fill in the blank): murder (euthanasia), lying (Clinton and just about everybody else), divorce (a majority of the time), children born out of wedlock (a majority of the time), false gods (wealth, power, lust), and pleasures of the flesh over power of the spirit eventually lead to an out of balance situation? Are there no absolutes? Do we need no spiritual guidance? No religion? No commandments? But of course many gay people are religious, Republican (as an example of relativism, at least a few) and believe in the power of the spirit over lust. Not all power and wealth is used in a self-serving manner (see Bill and Melinda Gates). And many prelates are coke sniffing hypocrites and priests pedophiles. So? Does’t this mean everything is relative? There are no absolutes? What do we use as guidance?

Can secular humanism replace the ten commandments? It can if it’s codified? Society through politics = law. Then you get to choose whether you obey the law or not? Doesn’t the minority have a voice?

Let’s pass a law that prevents people from discriminating against gay people. Since society can’t recognize religion, as there are too many of them, laws will trump scripture, or perceived scripture. Don’t want to sell them a cake because you don’t like gay marriage? Too bad. Pay a fine. Face a lawsuit. Let’s codify morality. We know what’s right, right? Let’s have a book of rules that show everybody how to live. We don’t or can’t need a Bible or a Koran (separate religion). We have society’s rules which, of course, are subject to variance and interpretation depending on who is in power at the time. That’s situational of course. But follow your society’s laws, or don’t, depending on the situation?

Final posit:    Democracy is and always has been situational and subject to interpretation. If you want to avoid immoral or unethical behavior, you will be confused by statutory fiat. My old friend Sam Lang, who spent a lifetime serving the law gave me some free advice: Do what you think is right. Obey the law. It is after all, the law. But in the final analysis, do what you think is right. When right and legal are mutually exclusive, do what’s right. I have never received better advice from anyone. The harder question is: what can you always believe in, no matter what?

Who or what is in control of your life?

Twenty-Five Homilies from Sixty-Seven years

1. Success is about getting up every day and doing your best.

Not being the best, being perfect, being ideal, being better-than, just:

Do the best you can with what you have where you are. (thanks Teddy R.)

The world is run by people who show up.
(thanks Ben F.) 

2. Work hard to forgive yourself and then forgive others, not for their sake, for yours.

3. Think about what you can do to make everybody else's life better.

4, Focus your life's work by empathizing with those to whom you deliver that work (your customer, guest, client, user, etc.) then continue to narrow and refine that focus.

5. If you wonder what your life's work is, concentrate on today. What you're doing now is for all intents and purposes your life's work. Do it to the best of your ability.

6. Listen as often and as much as you can and always before speaking.

7. If you can't voice a greeting, wave. If you can't wave, smile.

8. When you hear something interesting, take note, it'll soon be your idea.

9. Write down what you intend to accomplish each day and check off what gets done.

10. Review your accomplishments and give yourself credit.

11. Talk about what's possible with others because for an idea to flourish, it needs to be spoken.

12. Avoid negative people.

13. Seek consensus before acting.

14. Give credit to others wherever and whenever possible.

15. Everyone seeks positive reinforcement, give it.

16. Everyone seeks creative control, cede some of yours when you can.

17. Slow down long enough to acquire presence of mind in thought and action, especially before acting.

18. Be emotionally positive towards all, fight negative impulses.

19. Consume in moderation.

20. Love openly and with vigor.

21. Equivocate (your enemies have a point, you need to work toward seeing it)

22. Take time each day to walk, run, bike, roll, dance and move about (be as dynamic as your body allows).

23. Avoid stimulants, sugar, caffeine, chocolate, bright lights, computers, iphones, & social media prior to your normal sleep time (weaning off at least two hours prior, caffeine, 4-5 hours) so you can have normal sleep cycles and stay quiet, in the dark for 8 hours a night. Shift workers, adapt accordingly.

24. Find time to breathe deeply and relax hourly, even more than being dynamic, but you need both.

25. Laughter is the best medicine. Always be on the lookout for something that tickles you.

Goals are understood, expedited, and achieved, 96% of the time.

Let me restate that, for emphasis.

Goals are understood, expedited, and achieved, 96% of the time. 

How?

Once you are focused and are confident you know what it is your team will produce and how that will happen, be ruthless in its pursuit. When I ask people what they are doing, they point to the process. Their goal is to process. Cut that out. Your goal is to achieve. Use the process or lose the process but by all means stop focusing on it. Make sure you achieve your results. That and only that is your goal.

Who is responsible for failure? You are. I used to have a sign in my office before we valued positive reinforcement so much that said "What's your excuse for not doing your job today?" I wanted to post another, "Excuses are for losers." but knew, in my heart that that was really pretty harsh. It is true, of course. At the end of the game the winners celebrate and the losers outline a litany of excuses for why they lost. Do I have a point? I have two.

Let's eliminate the need for excuses:

Follow the cycle of your team's task from start the finish and understand each phase. Know the RESULT. Once you understand your phase of the operation and are a 96% achiever (good as humans get) ask questions and follow through the rest of your team's cycle to make sure your team has achieved its desire result.

Point two, flows from point one:

Be results oriented. Take responsibility, probably shared responsibility, but still be Individually Responsible for achieving the desire result. Understand the desired result. Make sure you are achieving it.

Got that. Understand what's supposed to be happening. Follow through to make sure it happens.

What's the cycle?

Before the cycle begins, all its segment's goals must be defined. A consensus of team members agree on a common goal. (I know, I know, it don't work that way where you work. Stay with me.)  Each segment of each cycle will have a start and a finish and will then logically lead to the next segment. The final result of the cycle will be the final result and the fruition of the cycle. Each team member must make an honest effort to understand other team member's cycle goals. Each phase of the cycle must support the other phases and recognize and follow up if the common goal of cycle completion isn't being achieved.

Example:

I worked at a non-profit bus company. All transit is now (since the 1960s) not only non-profit but financial loss leaders. You run transit, you lose money. The more transit you run, the more money you lose. I won't go into the how and why of subsidies but subsidies are necessary to prevent insolvency. I say this as a prelude because only heavily subsidized businesses can lead to what I'm about to describe. At least long term. Many failed businesses are just like what I'm about to describe.

Upon my active employment, I reviewed the department's prior work. One phase piqued my interest. The organization accepted special projects. A call would be received from another department to request a bus for a field trip. Because of federal regulation, private carriers must be polled for interest. None found, we accepted the work. A service order is executed. The work is added to a duty roster. An operator reports and inspects a bus and carries out the assignment. A trip sheet is filed. Reports are generated. The service order is marked complete. A request for invoice is executed. The invoice is sent to the department that requested the service. The requesting department pays the invoice. The funds are allocated to the proper account. The service order is retired. Other things can and do happen. Paying the operator, servicing the equipment and so on. Funny thing about one particular cycle, is it always has the full attention of all employees. That is the payroll cycle. I have never seen a payroll cycle that didn't have the apt attention of all employees, 24/7. There also should be some form of quality assurance monitoring and auditing but those are subsequent to the basic cycle I'm describing.

You can probably guess that all employees were satisfied that we were performing adequately. Some felt we were exemplary. About 10-15% of the time we were never paid for the service. Working in private industry I know accounts receivable are written off as losses eventually. And I know people who run businesses tell me they have to show up, in person, and demand a check, on the spot and be willing to compromise on the amount, for some clients. Collections is a nasty business. But these weren't recalcitrant customers. These were departments of the same university. The cycle was broken largely from lack of attention. Nobody followed up after a certain number of days, weeks or months.

So, you say, that's the fault of the organization. The accounting people weren't discussing receivables periodically and following up on payments. You had a process but it was flawed. It's "management's" problem and if they don't know about it, well what do you want me to do? It's not my job. I will admit it would be a pretty strange organization that would have bus operators asking after payment for services rendered, EXCEPT if their wages were withheld until the payment was received.

I asked the charter director if he knew who paid and who didn't when he executed a service order. He didn't. Because if he did, he wouldn't schedule another charter without dunning the requester. Likely the requester didn't know if the last charter they ordered had gotten paid either because of departmental segmentation.

I sat down with the director and we went over the cycle and I told him to be aware of all phases of the cycle and to not consider a particular job completed until payment was received. Don't mark a charter order complete until he is aware that it has been paid for. He didn't have a problem with it. It never occurred to him. I know that sounds strange but it's true. He didn't consider it his job until it had been spelled out for him. He trusted the process? I guess.

Am I asking too much? Should an employee, any employee make themselves aware of all phases of what an organization does and take responsibility for the total cycle and not be satisfied until it is complete? Sometimes it is difficult to impossible. BUT: Sometimes it is quite possible. My challenge to anybody is this: find out what's going on and try to facilitate the completion of a cycle that you provide any phase of.

This is particularly true of the result. What is the desired result of the cycle? A profit for your organization? The production of the best possible product? Ultimate customer satisfaction? A green environment? If you are firing a rocket into a crowd, are you killing everybody or just your enemies? Sometimes it takes a conversation with a group of co-workers and managers to list all the desired results. My point is all workers should work toward learning if the desired results are achieved if they participate in a work cycle. Don't wait for a "manager" to take the lead. You do it. Take responsibility. Fill your free time. Work toward a better understanding of what your organization does and how it does it.


I know managers who will say, "well we just need to have a meeting and adjust the process." Nothing wrong with that. It will/may fix what's happened. Won't fix what's about to happen though. Process always is behind the curve.

Here's the thing.

If you are process oriented, following the process is the logical result. If you achieve the process, then you've succeeded. I report, do my work and go home. On Friday, I get paid. I don't need to think about the how's and the why's and the after effects. That's not my job. My job is not to think, not to learn, not to worry. It's only to show up, do the required minimum and mark my calendar when my vacation is due. I totally respect the process because it gives me an excuse not to think.

As a manager, or conscientious employee, you must be careful not to fall into the cycle of process.

Define, specifically, what you and your organization tries to achieve. What are your (you and your organization's) short term, mid-term and long range goals. If you can't list them, you are in trouble. If your goals and your organization's goals are in conflict, you are in trouble. Once you have a firm grasp of consensual goals for yourself and your organization, learn what others are doing and what their goals are. You may be surprised to learn they have a different impression of what the organization or team is trying to achieve. Work toward a consensus.

I will admit that Herculean individuals have been known to develop processes so intricate and self learning that they actually achieve a consistent, desired result. The problem is that everything changes frequently and organically. Even good processes require individuals that listen and learn and adapt to changing environments. If you think the process you follow always does and always will work, you are deluded. Understand goals and results intrinsically. Respect the process if it is a good one but keep track of the results. Understand. Following the process isn't the goal. The goal is the desired result.

Knowledge is power. Understanding leads to wisdom. When you have a spare minute, talk to others in your organization about what they do and what they achieve. Learn as much as you can as time allows. You can't focus on the goal unless you can visualize it, fully realized.

Once you are focused and are confident you know what it is your team will produce and how that will happen, be ruthless in its pursuit. When I ask people what they are doing, they point to the process. Their goal is to process. Cut that out. Your goal is to achieve. Use the process or lose the process but by all means stop focusing only on it. Raise your vision to the horizon. See where you are going while your pull those oars. Call out if you are going the wrong way. Rowing the oars is necessary but getting where you are going is essential. Rowing in a circle achieves the process, not the goal. Make sure you fully understand what and where your intentions lie. Then and only then can you be guaranteed you are approaching results. That vision must be your guide.
 
"Goals are understood, expedited, and achieved, 96% of the time."

because I'm looking for them.






 

Beans

Beans, Not steak. Not lobster or snow crab or salmon. Not escargot or oysters Rockefeller. Beans. Just ask Louie Armstrong. When he signed anything for people he enjoyed being around, he signed with, "Red beans and richly yours." He didn't sign sizzling' steak, did he? Know why? His favorite meal was red beans, rice and sweetin' water. So, you say, he came from poverty. He didn't have a lot of choice. But Louie became famous and traveled pretty much world wide and had a sample of all kinds of food. He ate with royalty. He still liked his beans.  My fetish for the legumes was formed at the Methodist Children's Home in Ruston, Louisiana. We had two cooks. Gussie and Lela.  Our meals weren't fancy but we did get fried chicken and turkey for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Corn on the cob. Cornbread. But my first experience with the bean was the modest, unassuming but soon to be considered ethereal, the pinto. The pinto is kidney shaped and light brown. Often with speckles. Like all beans, they need to be soaked overnight then slow cooked with various seasonings, most prominently ham bones and fat. Salt. Bay leaves and so on. I'm no expert but like art and pornography, you know it when you experience it. Pinto beans cooked well by somebody who knows what they're doing, is better than barbecue, short ribs, filet Mignon or broiled trout. Don't get me wrong. I like all of those. I love a great gumbo. Freshly cooked fish. Wow. But let me tell you, pinto beans, properly prepared, seasoned and served hot are at least the equal of expensive meat and seafood. I didn't get good pintos for decades. There was a forty year gap. I almost forgot how I cleaned up two to three platefuls during my preteen growth spurt until I got a chance to stay in Half Moon Bay for a few nights. Our company ordered some buses from Gillig Corporation, located in Hayward, CA and I got to serve as an inspector. I chose to stay in Half Moon Bay for lots of reasons, not the least of which is it's location adjacent to Mavericks. Am I surfer? Hardly. I've been on a board but I'm a kook. But the bay has soul and is a great place to walk around and hang out. The spirit of Mark Foo inhabits the shoreline. I picked a motel close to Highway 92 and the first night I drove over from San Francisco Airport I was hungry. Immediately adjacent to the motel was a Taqueria, Taqueria La Mexicana. It was a typical hole in the wall, ex-burger joint which had seen better days. A few booths and tables of Formica and chrome surrounded by glass walls looking out onto an asphalt parking lot stained with partially-dried leaked-out motor oil. I stood reviewing the menu, which was posted above the inside window which led to the open kitchen. I chose steak rancheros, which came with two sides, one of which was beans. It was all placed in a styrofoam take out container with flour tortillas wrapped in tin foil. If you've been to the west, you pretty much know what I'm talking about. The rancheros was thinly sliced beef slow cooked with salt, onions, tomatoes and green peppers in a savory sauce and well, it was pretty darn good. Cheap too. Nothing on the menu was over five bucks and in the ten days I stayed there I pretty much tried everything they had and it was all simply great. The two older Mexican gals who stayed and cooked all day had all kinds of pots and pans of food cooking, all the time. The Chicano locals were their main clientele. For the week and a half I commuted to Hayward each day, so was I. But I digress. While eating the rancheros, I decided to sample the beans in their own little pressed styrofoam trough and, pow, there it was. It all came flooding back. These were the beans I couldn't eat enough of all those years ago. My olfactories triggered a nostalgic temporal episode. I was taken back forty years. I tried to savor each mouthful. There it was. Properly cooked and seasoned pintos. Not mashed. Not refried. Melt in your mouth, salty sauced and wonderfully seasoned pinto beans. I still remember the experience. It's now going on twenty five years ago. I still can smell and taste those beans.

The lessons of Survivor Cagayan and why my knuckle's bleed

I admit one of my guilty pleasures is watching Survivor. Watching TV in general is considered knuckle-dragger behavior. I should be volunteering or practicing my viola or reading the classics. Simian or not I like the show. But like I said, it is a very guilty pleasure. Last night Season 28 finished with a three hour special. I felt three times as guilty. Not just because it was three times as long, although there's that but because Tony Vlachos, the guy who lied, cheated, swore oaths on his dead father, his badge [Tony's a Jersey police officer], his wife and child and generally acted like he had no moral code, no honor, no integrity and well, no shame, won in a landslide. He got all but one of the "jury's" votes. Those same people who were lied to and who openly castigated him for his lack of moral compass, rewarded him with a million dollar payday. Therefore he is a "winner." The host, Jeff Probst, quizzed the runner-up, Woo Hwang, who kept his integrity in tact, if he didn't feel regret after watching winner Tony walk off with the prize. Woo silently cogitated, then said his code wouldn't allow him to dishonor himself that way. Even though the situation may have called for it to be rewarded with money, he didn't live that way. Jeff said, okay, we can go with that but the implication from him and the rest of his survivor buddies was "what a loser to have a moral code that prevents him from 'winning.'"
 
I do get that performing on the show means you subscribe to the show's mottoes [wow spell checker fooled me with that spelling], "Outwit, outlast and outplay." Outplay apparently means leave your honor at home. I have seen stealing of supplies from other tribes as "fair game." Rupert, the pirate, on previous episodes, plundered when and where he could. He was widely loved for it. Being a sneak is good. Eavesdropping (Tony built a palm frond hut to listen in on other's conversations), denying food (outlast) and of course, lying, cheating (telling others an idol you found which has special powers that it didn't) are all part of the "game." It seems to say being isolated should bring out the worst in mankind, or what's a hell for?

I have a friend, an ex-cop, who believes that man is basically corrupt. This is informed by his nearly 30 year career as a state trooper. Survivor seems to inveigh on his behalf. The show is a real life, adult version of "Lord of the Flies" where participating contestants try to break each other down to be supreme ruler. This then is rewarded by 50 pieces of gold, uh, a million dollars. Last man or woman, who lies, cheats, steals and dishonors themselves and their family is left standing to take it all. The others, banished from the island, are asked to reconsider having honor as maybe a questionable trait. You didn't "win." You must be an idiot.

Even though Tony "won" he seems to be getting a lot of negative feedback. Some of it is obviously internalized. Swearing on your child's life and your dead father's grave seems to be having an effect on him. The jury seemed to outwardly despise him but gave him the money, like paying the devil his due. He kept saying, "It was just a 'game.' I outplayed everybody.  But in normal life, I'm not like that, Jeff." He said it in a very nervous way. One of his watch commanders flew to the west coast to be on the show just to say that in Jersey, they all loved the way he played "the game." Winning was "job one." The implication was, representing his family, his heritage, his badge, his office and himself as an honorable man was "job two." After all, it was just a game, right? There was another police officer on the island, a woman from Indiana, Sara Lacina who thought she bonded with Tony, not knowing that Tony was being possessed by the devil, only for 39 days, of course. Sara's not speaking to Tony any more. Sara said on the finale that she thinks the real Tony came out on the island. Because if the situation calls for it, you can lie, cheat and dishonor yourself and your family, that basically means that's really who you are. If money can justify venal behavior, the most venal will win in a landslide.

Survivor Cagayan personifies 21st century situational ethics, right? God is dead. Man is supreme in his "live in the moment," "the end justifies the means" existentialism. I did feel disgusted when it was over, mostly at myself for watching. But then I listened to Tony continue to try to justify himself. Listened to him say he was too sick to work for three months. That he can no longer "bulk up" his muscles. His voice was strained and he spoke rapidly with dizzy eyes. His wife didn't visit him on the island and wasn't there at the end (various excuses were made). It reminded me of TVs other "winner," Charlie Sheen. The nervous eyes and sweaty demeanor. "Winning." Right.

Then I reflected a bit. If Tony seemed crushed by his victory what about the hilarious loser who had a million dollars in the palm of his hand and decided to follow his heart and not his head. I remembered Yung "Woo" Hwang, the "loser." The guy who lives his life based on honor and integrity. The guy who wanted to compete with the best rather than phone in a victory. The guy who entertained school children on the island by shining his inner light and playfully making fun of himself. Yung Hwang, who represented himself, his family and his heritage with honor. Jeff and the rest shook their heads at his naivete. He just didn't know how to win on Survivor. But then they are the ones who openly despised Tony then turned around and declared him the "winner." It's their opinion that Tony did the "right" thing to win the game. Jeff says you never know what to expect from Survivor. I'm going to keep on watching. I don't expect it but one day I hope to watch my fellow human beings reward honor and integrity over lying and cheating. That our nation's children have something morally positive to take away from the show. But hey, it's TV, right? The longer I watch, the more my knuckle's bleed.

I Hope You Ain't Gonna be a Hardcase / Lay that twinkie down, oh lord, lay that twinkie down

Message from a friend: 

Was it Dracula that said

"Take a bite out of Crime" ?  (Not that dog)

Just a thought .

Anyway, don't let the evil Mr Cold weather pull you into the vortex of succulent desserts and pastry goodies where the "Fat monster" waits to pull  you into the abyss.

Keep going on. Don't give up ---To the Temptations--(  not the 50's singers) Keep heading to the skinny you inside. 

Ok, so I'm  losing my mind thinking about the endless pies and chocolate goodies waiting for me --on the dark side of the force. The gravy and rice and giant 36 oz steaks and fried foods.

I need to go eat an apple or chew on a carrot.

Hi my name is Joe. I am an addict.
As a food a holic---one who is addicted to food.--- I am waging a daily war against Food.

I love food so it is a love/ hate relationship. It is a Battle of the Bulge.

And so it goes one battle at a time,one mouth full at a time.

Can't turn back,can't give up or give in to the --Dark Side or dark chocolate

I must not surrender to those taste buds that continue to crave :

the "evil" carbohydrates or to the soft still voice that cry's out in the night---- Eat me! 

No one knows what evil lurks in the shadows of the frozen food section, what boogie men are waiting in the aisle where chips and dip live. I have to be brave and stand fast against the threat of the Triple X. Ho Ho Ho --sure the guy in the red suite can laugh, but he can wear that ex-large outfit everyday and no one cares.  Smile and the world smiles with you. or so people say. Become over weight and the world says---- look at the fat guy. You're just another Wall Mart person for the picture photo line up.

I must defeat the "raisin head" people (those are the ones with little bitty heads and gigantic bodies that pray on the "apple bodies" (like me)  to try to clone them into raisin heads.

I will use the "glimmer" index to shine in the nite and avoid the monster "Sugar" waiting to devour me.

Joe.

Just a soldier in the battle.

Reasoned Reply:

My one comment would be that you still view sh*tty food as desirable. If only I could have those (really good?) foods, I'd be happy. I think we need an attitude adjustment. (or a night in the box). You didn't like Cool Hand Luke, I remember. I'll include the Floorwalker Carr's recitation of Captain's rules at the end, just for fun.

Anyway.

I picked up a few pounds the past few months (I guess I said that in my last email and maybe you're addressing the issue here). My old internist, Ed Gaber, who was a colon cancer survivor and who had used a few years in the Air Force to help him become an MD, wasn't a "good" doctor. He was a great doctor. Had to go into private practice to have enough time to actually listen to and work with his patients. Cut out newspaper articles and pasted them on the wall all around his consult offices. While you waited for him to come in you were inundated with health information. He was great but he wasn't good because he'd get tired of treating people who wouldn't work on their own wellness. He had issues with cigarettes (they result in a linear decline in quality of life as you begin to age - you are sicker and able to do less and able to enjoy life less each year you age (he had a chart on the wall showing the decline in smoker's abilities as they aged, compared to non-smokers) - and of course they kill you - but it was the decline in quality of life that had him pissed off) and things like sugar, which triggers your brain to want more as soon as you consume it, then triggers insulin, screws up your blood sugar and then causes you to feel tired all the time (until you get more sugar) and of course, makes you fat, which destroys your health .

We went on a cruise last year and you can order what you want from the menu at dinner - plus of course they have a sweet bar open all the time - and I ate conservatively and then got low or no sugar dessert (I did get dessert). But by the last night I figured I'd splurge and went ahead and got the double chocolate whatever it was and it pretty much made me sick. Consciously working on avoiding sh*tty food may sound like you are denying yourself pleasure but it will make you feel a lot better. NOT eating food which is bad for you makes you feel better? Of course not. Denial of pleasure makes you feel worse, right? It's after you eat this crap that you feel worse. Smoking the cigarette relieves the urgency but it is quickly followed by ill health.

I talked to the kid that works at the veterinary clinic this week when I got one of the dogs vaccinated. He wants to stop smoking but can't. I told him I finally worked it out in my head that I DIDN'T LIKE SMOKING and that to stop it meant I was soon to be filled with pleasurable experiences. The physical addiction goes away in a week. Then your life is just so much better. The same is true of eating junk. Once you make the mental leap that you don't like what's harmful to you and makes you feel bad, it's a lot easier to quit eating it. It's not hard to stop doing what you don't like.

Making a conscious decision to feel better and be better is simply a salesman's job. Sell yourself on it. Believe it and then make the best of it. The no sugar desserts were small and tasty. Seriously. They left me un-bloated and didn't raise my pulse and my cholesterol like sugar does. So I wasn't DENYING myself anything, I was making a conscious choice to feel better and still eat pretty good tasting food. After eating I felt pretty good.
You're making it sound like greasy, white flour, high sugar, starchy stuff is desirable, when, in fact, it gives you indigestion, bloating and you have to lie down after eating. Think about it. It's not really good, it's bad.

The stores are chock full of decent stuff now. I buy little containers of pre sliced apples with nuts. they make them for kid's lunches. I eat fruit, even though it's high in natural sugar because it's actually good for you as one component of a decent diet. Fish is good. I love squash. Cauliflower. Cook it and grind it up and eat it instead of mash potatoes. and so on. Do I eat pizza? Yeah. I get the smaller ones with thin crust. Do I eat chocolate. Yes. I have a square now and again. I get these puddings that at no sugar. Jello makes them. They have a blue stripe or something and say no sugar. I eat crappy food now and again but I shop for decent stuff and I avoid beer and dessert. I avoid beer because my daughter's an alcoholic and it's like shaving my head for a cancer patient whose getting chemo. I guess it makes me feel noble. You know what? I used to love beer but now I don't give a sh*t. Food isn't all bad. You can eat food but you have to use your brain to save your body so you can use your body to keep your brain alive. I admit having a doctor like Gaber, who was a bit of a kook, really helped me. Having cancer had helped him, I think. It was a wake up call.
 

Look at sh*tty food and trigger the response: Wow, Yuck. Do I want to feel bad? Do I want to have a hard time getting around? Increase my insulin? Blow out my knees? Because as soon as you start to eat decent food, you immediately start to feel better. And it tastes good. It really does. Less is more. It always has been.

Along the lines of "I learned everything I need to know in kindergarten" (here substituting "chain gang" for kindergarten, here's:

 [credit]

Cool Hand Luke (1967) movie script

by Donn Pearce and Frank Pierson.
Based on the novel by Donn Pearce.

[excerpt]

Floorwalker Carr’s speech, for all newcomers

“Them clothes has got laundry numbers
    on 'em.You remember your number and
    always wear the ones that has your number.

 Any man forgets his number
    spends a night in the box.

(passes out spoons)

   

This yere spoon you keep with you
    and any man loses his spoon spends a
    night in the box.

There is no playing
    grabass or fighting in the building.
    You got a grudge against another man
    you can fight him Saturday afternoon.
    Any man playing grabass or fighting
    in the building spends a night in
    the box.

First bell is at five minutes
    of eight when you will get in your
    bunk and last bell is at eight...
    Any man not in his bunk at eight
    will spend a night in the box.

There
    is no smoking in prone position in
    bed. To smoke you must have both
    legs over the side of your bunk.
    Anyone caught smoking in prone
    position will spend a night in the
    box.

You get two sheets. Every
    Saturday you put the clean sheet on
    the top, the top sheet on the bottom
    and the bottom sheet you turn in to
    the Laundry Boy. Any man who turns
    in the wrong sheet spends a night in
    the box.

No one will sit on the bunks
    with dirty pants on. Any man sitting
    on a bunk with dirty pants will spend
    a night in the box.

Any man who don't
    bring back his empty pop bottles
    spends a night in the box.

Any man loudtalking spends a night
    in the box.

You got questions you
    come to me.
    I'm Carr, the floorwalker. I'm
    responsible for order in here and
    any man that don't keep order...
    ...spends a night in the box.
       

(to Cool Hand Luke, sincerely)

    I hope you ain't gonna be a hardcase.”

 

Mardi Gras Doubloons

Watched parades from a ladder as a kid. Mardi Gras is big as Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving, you name it, to a kid. As a high school student, I marched in parades. Lots of parades. We used to go home and watch ourselves on WDSU because they had a camera trained on Royal Street by their studio to capture the passing parades. One year I marched in Rex and Comus both in the same day. That night, my Dad picked me up at Municipal Auditorium and I was completely black from flambeaux soot. He didn't recognize me. I was spent. The week had taken its toll and I stayed in bed for two days. I lost about five pounds that week. That year I marched every night of the week leading up to Mardi Gras weekend and then both parades Mardi Gras day. Mr. Clancy, our band director at East Jefferson had our tuba players go out front of the band and dance in the streets when we marched. All the parades were in the city except for (I think it was Argus, which used to be on Saturday night on Metairie Road before there was an Endymion), when we got to come out to the parish to march. The crowd in Jefferson loved EJ's band. I played with his Dad's jazz band on the nights I wasn't marching with East Jefferson. Clancy's jazz band. That's who I marched with in Rex and Comus. Unforgettable experience. At UNO we were the king's band for the first Bacchus parade when Danny Kaye was Bacchus. We were out in front and I got to watch him dance to everything we played. He was an energetic guy. I have the doubloons for Jackie Gleason and Henry Winkler (when Saturday Night Live did the broadcast from Canal Street) were Bacchus. The Fat Man was legendary as Bacchus.

I found an old plastic bag of doubloons today in a closet. Brought back memories. Didn't know what to do with them but I organized them and laid them out and took a couple pictures.

The Rex doubloons date from the original doubloon in 1960 and I have a couple aluminum models of that one. All my doubloons are aluminum and scrounged from parades. Many of these carnival krewes and clubs no longer exist. Others have taken their place if that's possible and likely it isn't. So many are gone. Carrollton, all twelve miles of it. The first parade in the city on Sunday the week before Carnival. We weren't in shape yet and about half the way through you needed to catch a second wind to finish. Momus, Comus, Venus, Freret, Okeanos, and on and on. All gone.

Anyway, here are some pictures of the doubloons I've kept (in a plastic bag) since 1960. I just may keep them around. They don't take up much room.

From my Aunt Esther's collection, credit: Jeremy Deubler

From my Aunt Esther's collection, credit: Jeremy Deubler

From my Aunt Esther's collection, credit: Jeremy Deubler